Poem of the Month: April 2016

Nigel Ford: regional events

The FSP Poem of the Month selected from the April readings by editors Edie Eicas and David Harris is Screaming At The Ceiling by Nigel Ford.


Screaming At The Ceiling

I’m standing in the middle of the room
fists clenched
muscles tensed
unable and unwilling
to stop myself screaming at the ceiling
in my frustration at the unfairness of it all
not knowing which way my divided loyalties should fall
with my Mum under an imminent death sentence
and my daughter so very heavily pregnant.
Do I stay or do I go?
I’ve got no idea, I just don’t know.
So I’m standing in the middle of the room
brain stunned
mind numbed
wishing and needing
to stop myself screaming at the ceiling
and make the decision to go or stay
a choice to be made almost right away.
Then my Mum said,
‘You’ve missed out on so much already
you’ve missed out on being a real daddy
so you’ve got to go son
be with your girl and her new born one
then take a good photo and send it back to me
so Great Grandpa can hold it up for me to see
and although I won’t be there to share the celebration
I’ll die content knowing there was a new generation.’

Then that next week when my mum passed away
and my daughter lost her baby the very next day
I found myself standing in the middle of the room
Fists Clenched
Muscles Tensed
Brain Stunned
Mind Numbed
Unable and Unwilling
To Stop Myself Screaming At The Ceiling.

Nigel Ford © 2016

Pic courtesy of Martin Christmas